When Fear is Keeping Us From Reaching Our Dreams & Goals

“The only impossible journey is the one you never take!” —Tony Robbins

Whenever we start a new project there will be the moment when suddenly fear comes up. When I was younger, I hardly knew such a fear. Whenever  I had an idea, I implemented whatever needed to be done to reach that goal, no matter how new and unknown an endeavour was. 

When I, as a single mom, immigrated to Canada for the first time, my friends said that I was very brave. I never saw myself als brave because deep in my heart I simply knew that I had to do it. One of my main experiences in life were that whenever I was taking the first step in a new endeavour, all further steps revealed themselves. Therefore my decisions had nothing to do with courage,  If it had to do with anything, then with trust. 

But ten, the older I grew the more I began to experience that kind of fear for new situations. I don’t know, if this is a symptom of older age, or if it has something to do with some negative experiences that are part of life as well.  Meanwhile I see fear for a new project or endeavour rather as an indicator of how far I’ll have to move away from my own comfort zone. The bigger the fear, the further away a new project would move me away from my comfort zone. On the ohter hand, the further away from my comfort zone I move, the more interesting the project will be and the greater the learning potential that this implies. To this day I’m still not brave and only take risks that are calculable, but what I probably am is curious. I want to know where a path may lead to, when I move away from my own comfort zone and that part of my character turned out to bring me very interesting new experiences. It was because of that curiosity that I have made experiences in my life most other people will never make. 

Courage is to face an obvious known danger and then fight against the fear or ignore it. Most of the time when one starts a new endeavour there aren’t any known dangers because everything is new and unknown. Of course one can ask people who have already taken that step and find out what experiences they have made.  But the downside is that one will hear about their fears, negative experiences, and obstacles that may have absolutely nothing to do with the experiences that are lying ahead of you.  And isn’t it exactly fear that attracts the dangers we fear?  

A friend of mine wanted to move to Forest Hill rather yesterday than tomorrow and help me build the retreat. Living a simple life on a secluded lake in Canada has been a very old dream of his. It was his deepest heart desire. When he heard about my project he immediately renewed his passport and began to prepare mentally and emotionally and make plans together with me. When I asked him if such a big step wouldn’t scare him he instantly said ‘no’. When our plans became more concrete and the planning was turning into doing and acting, suddenly many other things came into his way that required his attention. Although that project had his absolute highest priority in life and there was nothing in Europe that would keep him here, he allowed all those meaningless obstacles to get in his way. Recently he completely turned his back on the Forest Hill project and decided to look for a job in one of the largest cities in Germany: the complete opposite of what he had been dreaming of for so many years. 

This is how many people tick. Most of the time giving way to obstacles is nothing but well suppressed fear. Fear of new situations is normal and natural. The bigger the fear, the bigger the challenge and vice versa. But as soon as we allow fear to throwe stones in our way, one is lost. As soon as we give room to fear we suddenly see thousands of reaons and dangers that seem to be in contrast of what we want. On the other hand, when we face the fear and see it as what it really is – as an indicator of how far we are moving away from our comfort zone – we can make many unbelievable experiences we could never have dreamed of.  When we allow fear to keep us away from reaching our goals, the day will come when we bitterly regret the shortfall, and now being in the last third of my life I can say with confidence that the worst feeling is remorse of missed opportunities. Missed opportunities hardly every come back in life.  

When I immigrated to Canada the first time, I made some huge beginner’s mistakes that had really bad consequences. Nevertheless, my daughter and I agree full-heartedly that we would never want to miss that experience. Most of the time we rather regret missed opportunities when we grow older than the mistakes we have made. Through those mistakes today I’m in a much better position to advise other people with their immigration goals. 

Fear is a very cruel emotion because it can completely paralize us and keep us from achieving our important life goals and fulfilling our life purpose. In such a moment it helps to ask ourselves one simple question: WHY?

Why do I want to move to Canada?

Why is it so important to me to lead a simple life?

Why do i want to live in accord with nature?

Why do I want to move closer to my real self?

Why do I want to set new prioritits and reduce my life to what really counts?

Why? Why? WHY?

At this point it is important to be honest to yourself.

If it’s an uncertain fear of an uncertain danger, then you can be almost sure that it is simply a fear of leaving your comfort zone. It’s important to admit the fear and openly look it. if you don’t, very quickly even small obstacles can keep you away from great opportunities that will probably never come ever again in life. 

Knowing WHAT you want and WHY you want it is an important premise to make the right decision. And it’s even more important to listen to your heart. Because, often we are lead to new and greater things and when that fear comes up it will be the most “obvious” thing to say, “I had a bad gut feeling about this.”  A “bad gut feeling” doesn’t have anything to do with your intuition. Listening to your heart and the gut feeling are two completely different things, yet unfortunately most people tend to confuse them. When the gut feeling says ‘No’ to something new it is very often just well shed fear and your heart might say something completely different. However, we should always listen to our heart and almost never to the gut feeling because the latter is based on emotions and not on intuition. 

There is always a reason when we  go into resonance with something or when we have a new idea. In such moments usually the heart is speaking to us. That’s why it’s very often worth to listen well. It might have something to do with your life purpose. The causing factor behind fears is most of the time our mind that is searching for  dozens of reasons that could speak against the idea. Therefore, don’t allow fear to interfere with your dreams.

Whether your interest in our Forest Hill Retreat is genuine or not I can’t tell.  Only you “know” or feel it. Being interested alone tells you nothing.  I have experienced too often that Europeans want to emigrate to Canada and at the end it turned out to be nothing but a castle in the cloud.  Many Europeans have very romantic and unrealistic conceptions of Canada. The questions, “What do I really want?” and, “Why do I want this?” most of the time help me and others to make the right decision. 

If you feel that this could be your path and you want more information, then I recommend you take advantage of making a nonbinding reservation. On the last page of our brochure you’ll find a form for reservations you can simply fill out, scan, and maile to us. As a next step we will talk on the phone and find out together, if Forest Hill is really for, and if it is, you can reserve your favorite spot of the Retreat. Only when you and I feel comfortable about your move, you will pay the reservation fee. If you have any questions before taking that step, please make a calling appointment with us by e-mail.  

We are looking forward to show you our beautiful Forest Hill Retreat very soon and wish you a lot of fun while dreaming and planning. 

Your  Iten family 

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